Monday, March 3, 2014

sometimes i wish my parents understood

not to sound like one of those "im mad at the world an no one understands me" teenagers, but i so wish my parents understood how truly plagued I am by my emetephobia. it's been a really rough morning so far, as i got no sleep last night due to my anxiety. when the time to go to school rolled around, i was in a complete panic, and i seriously thought i was about to vomit- and i still do feel that way. ive felt sick for the whole weekend now, much to my distress. while in a state of full blown panic, I was threaten and yelled at for my anxiety, which is apparently "bullshit", by my parents. they've now threatened to send me to some kind of inpatient program or boarding school, which I believe to be a complete overreaction. I may be in the wrong in thinking an inpatient center is taking it too far, but after analyzing everything that's happened lately, I do believe it to be an overreaction. they've also constantly put me down for "not being brave enough" and "being a bullshitter", which illustrates that they have absolutely no clue how severe of an anxiety disorder i have, even though they claim they know exactly what I'm going through. additionally, my dad is grounding me, taking my phone away, and selling around 8 of my concert tickets (all of which I payed about $500 out of my pocket for) and I couldn't be more angry. if I had some kind of physical health issue they wouldn't punish me like this, so why am I being punished for a mental disorder that's almost completely out of my control? my parents are really great people and I'm very grateful for them, but I wish that for once they could supportively push me to conquer my anxiety, opposed to putting me down for it.

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